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Limitless Leaders™ Connection – R U OK with self-compassion?

R U OK with your self-expression

Thursday the 10th September is R U Ok Day, a day to remind everyone that every day is the day to ask, “Are you OK?” As we all face the ups and downs of life, I reckon it's a good day to stop and practice self-compassion in conjunction with compassion for others.

Self-compassion opens the door to acceptance and is about directing love and compassion at yourself and those around you. To be receptive and accept the gifts we face, we need to open the door and invite self-compassion in. Kristen Neff, a researcher of self-compassion, highlights its many benefits, including a decrease in anxiety, stress and depression, and an increase in life satisfaction, resilience and overall happiness.

As we know, our thoughts dictate our feelings and therefore, what we do or don’t act on.

Negative self-talk is the blocker to self-compassion and can include:

  • awfulising – assuming the worst, which can spiral into negative thinking
  • filtering – seeing only the negative aspects when you face a challenge, although positive ones exist in parallel
  • personalising – blaming yourself when faced with a challenge

“The thoughts you think today will determine the results you see tomorrow.” – Robin Sharma

We need to be kind to ourselves and catch ourselves out on the negative self-talk.

5 Key Tips On Being Kind To Ourselves:

  1. Catch your critic and name it – Stop and name the thought, then refer to it by name. One of my clients attributed her negative talk to not being good enough or being too ‘needy Ned’. This made her laugh whenever she noticed these thoughts – that alone changed the direction of her future conversations.
  2. Talk to yourself like a friend – We can often be harsher on ourselves than we would ever dream of being with those we love. Be light, kind and above all, respectful.
  3. Practice gratitude – We all have so much we can be grateful for, being in nature, our health or the fact we have caring people in our lives. Gratitude can be a feeling, an action or a mindset. Journaling three positives each day and reflecting on them the next morning is a great way to start. Bringing gratitude into the workplace culture is a great way to share, show compassion, amplify strengths and appreciation in each other.
  4. Flip your beliefs – Usually, we frame whatever we tell ourselves as beliefs, which either do or do not serve us. For instance, ‘I will never get through this challenge’ could be flipped to “What is the opportunity in this situation?” Think about what limiting beliefs you could let go of, to be kinder to yourself.
  5. Reframe keywords – Reframing “I’m nervous and challenged” to “I’m excited about this opportunity” can change your energy, mindset and awareness to what can be, rather than what can’t be. Words are powerful, and we all have the choice and capability to change them.

Self-awareness doesn't prevent you from making mistakes; it allows you to grow from them instead. We need to take the time to reflect, digest our thoughts and neutralise negative self-talk in order to be kinder to ourselves.

When we have thoughts about a challenge or success that serve us, we can then ‘feel’ into them. An example: feeling empowered when we have made it through a hard time – we can lean into that feeling of accomplishment and positivity.

Think of an event that’s currently on your mind:

What are you telling yourself about it?

How can you practice self-compassion today?

How are you showing compassion to your team and those around you?

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Lead to be limitless…

Signed Reneé


PS: Want to skyrocket your success from working anywhere? We've launched our new online program and you can read more about that here.

Ever wondered what Reneé gets up to when she isn't with working with her clients? She's doing this.

 

If this article has resonated with you in any way – I’d love to hear your thoughts – get in touch.

Being in service to my clients is why I do what I do and your feedback, insight and any suggestions are always embraced.

Find out where you sit on the Leadership Ladder, your responses are anonymous, and the results summarised to help us better understand where our market sits so that we can continue to provide, insights, tools and solutions to assist you to move up to be LIMITLESS, co-creative and stand out.

Renée is a mentor, coach, expert facilitator and keynote speaker; She is the author of ‘Limitless Leadership’ and co-author of ‘Leaders of Influence’.

Follow Renée on Facebook, Instagram, IGTV or Twitter, or subscribe to her blog here or new podcast here.

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Limitless Leaders™ Connection – #Goal – When you get to interview one of your favourite authors!

Bob Burg Podcast

In times of uncertainty, growth and change I’m super excited to have recently interviewed Bob Burg for my Limitless Leaders™ Podcast.

Bob is a Hall of Fame keynote speaker, and International Best Selling author of The Go-Giver, one of my all-time favourite books. I read a lot of books, and it's a book I refer back to often.

In his book The Go-Giver, Bob shares how a subtle shift in focus is not only a more uplifting and fulfilling way of conducting business but the most financially profitable way, as well.

Although for years he was best known for his book Endless Referrals, over the past few years it’s his business parable, The Go-Giver (coauthored with John David Mann) that has captured the imagination of his readers.

The Go-Giver, a Wall Street Journal and BusinessWeek Bestseller, has sold over 950,000 copies. Since its release, it has consistently stayed in the Top 25 on Porchlight’s (formerly 800-CEO-READ) Business Book Bestsellers List and also translated into 28 languages. The book was rated #10 on Inc. Magazine’s list of the Most Motivational Books Ever Written and was on HubSpot’s 20 Most Highly Rated Sales Books of All Time.

Bob is the author of a number of books on sales, marketing and influence, with total book sales approaching two million copies.

The Go-Giver contradicts the notion that to be successful; you need to be a go-getter, a competitive hard-charger focused on getting new clients and making ever-bigger deals. I love how the book is written, it's easy to read and the lessons throughout I have bought into my life since I first read it.

Renee & Bob Burg Screenshot

 

 

This book reinforces that giving rather than getting is your first priority in business and in life—and success will follow.

Becoming a “go-giver” means giving value to others, not as a strategy or quid pro quo, but as a way of leading a satisfying life.

 

The key Five Lessons we explore in the interview:

  1. The Law of Value: How much more you give others in value than you receive in payment defines your worth.
  2. The Law of Compensation: Your income depends on how many people you serve and how well you serve them.
  3. The Law of Influence: Your influence (social capital) is determined by the extent to which you put the interests of others' first.
  4. The Law of Authenticity: The most important thing you can offer is yourself.
  5. The Law of Receptivity: For effective giving, be open to receiving.

I absolutely loved interviewing Bob, and I know you, an important person in my community, will glean so much value from the Podcast interview.

You can sign up and listen to the podcast below or you can also listen via Apple or Spotify.

17: The 5 Laws of Success with Bob Burg

Lead to be limitless

Signed Reneé



PS: Want to skyrocket your success from working anywhere? We've launched our new online program and you can read more about that here.

Ever wondered what Reneé gets up to when she isn't with working with her clients? She's doing this.

 

If this article has resonated with you in any way – I’d love to hear your thoughts – get in touch.

Being in service to my clients is why I do what I do and your feedback, insight and any suggestions are always embraced.

Find out where you sit on the Leadership Ladder, your responses are anonymous and the results summarised to help us better understand where our market sits so that we can continue to provide, insights, tools and solutions to assist you to move up to be LIMITLESS, co-creative and stand out.

Renée is a mentor, coach, expert facilitator and keynote speaker, She is the author of ‘Limitless Leadership’ and co-author of ‘Leaders of Influence’.

Follow Renée on FacebookInstagramIGTV or Twitter, or subscribe to her blog here or new podcast here.

 

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Limitless Leaders™ Connection: Creating a Gift Mindset Culture

Limitless Leaders™ Connection: Creating a Gift Mindset culture photo

Many organisational cultures do not encourage or condone the sharing of challenges or failures and even sometimes the sharing of successes. Culture is about the shared beliefs, values, customs and social behaviour of a community. Therefore, if the culture you work within is against sharing lessons it may be something that never enters your mind, especially if that organisation is all you have ever known.

In our home life, this is the same. If you are bought up not to share failures and to just suck it up and get on with it then chances are this same behaviour will play in your life. If you are encouraged to share successes and challenges at home, at school and amongst your social network, you will be more likely to be open to The Gift Mindset®.

Not everyone works in an organisation that is open to the idea of being reflective – something which can be particularly difficult to do in the workplace. When there is a lack of support from management who don’t see the reflective practice is important, then being open and sharing your lessons can go by the wayside and be challenging to navigate. I come across companies like this, not too many which is a great thing, but enough to know the challenges people face within them who want an open, self-reflective and sharing culture.

As Gandhi said, “You must be the change you want to see in the world.”

Sharing is caring

Think about the return on investment and start small. Maybe initiate small activities at team catch ups to share wins and/or challenges. Maximise online platforms such as Zoom, Yammer and Teams to create space for sharing. Cultural change takes time as it starts with the people.

Comfort and fear are the enemies of progress. Click To Tweet

Shadowing and sharing the best practice of success and lessons learnt from challenges is one way to promote gradual cultural change to adopt The Gift Mindset®. This can also be done by not just talking and/or observing someone but instead really encouraging interactive conversation and questioning. What this does is allow the learner to understand the underlying reasons behind someone else’s actions, making it easier to adapt what’s learned to a new situation or task.

Involve and discuss

There was a study done in May 2012 that found that pharmaceutical development teams were better able to translate and learn from another team’s past experience when they invited members of the other team — the “sharers” of knowledge — to actively participate in their discussion and problem-solving (vs. a “learner” team simply identifying the “sharer” team’s knowledge and then trying to replicate it on their own).

Expectations create reality

Remember that our expectations can create our reality and the stereotypes we hold can directly impact our behaviour and therefore impacts culture. Psychologist call this process “stereotype threat”.

Imagine you are running a session at an SLT (Senior Leadership Team) meeting for the first time. Your manager has stressed the importance to get it right and the impact on your leadership brand, team and so on if you don’t. You are aware of the stereotype “new kid on the block” so anxiety arises about potentially making a mistake. Your manager even introduces you by reinforcing this is the first time you have presented at this level. You get distracted from your focus to present an effective presentation and instead focus on the technology not working, not coming across clearly or having your message diluted by nerves.

This is a basic demonstration of how stereotypes have the power to impact our behaviour. This means that if we place concern on a situation such as a culture that doesn’t encourage sharing of success and/or challenges we are confirming a negative stereotype. This will disrupt the ability to focus on a particular task that will lead to adopting a Gift Mindset and sharing best practice across the business.

How can you instil The Gift Mindset® in your organisational culture today?

Lead to limitless

Signed Reneé



PS: Want to skyrocket your success from working anywhere? We've launched our new online program and you can read more about that here.

 

If this article has resonated with you in any way – I’d love to hear your thoughts – get in touch.

Being in service to my clients is why I do what I do and your feedback, insight and any suggestions are always embraced.

Find out where you sit on the Leadership Ladder, your responses are anonymous and the results summarised to help us better understand where our market sits so that we can continue to provide, insights, tools and solutions to assist you to move up to be LIMITLESS, co-creative and stand out.

Renée is a mentor, coach, expert facilitator and keynote speaker, She is the author of ‘Limitless Leadership’ and co-author of ‘Leaders of Influence’.

Follow Renée on FacebookInstagramIGTV or Twitter, or subscribe to her blog here or new podcast here.

 

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Limitless Leaders™ Connection: Stop awfulising and own your thoughts!

Limitless Leaders™ Connection: Stop awfulising and own your thoughts! blog

“The thoughts you think today will determine the results you see tomorrow.” – Robin Sharma

Having a deep awareness of our thoughts is the one thing we can control, no matter who we are or where we are from.

Our thoughts dictate how we feel and therefore, where we do or do not take action. We need to be consciously aware of our thoughts and our inner dialogue. We also need to be aware of our minds chatter that can escalate to fear when we go through uncertainty or face something we don't understand.

Negative self-talk can include awfulising (not a real word) where you may assume the worst, and it can lead to a downward spiral of negative thinking. Another common one is filtering; this may be when you face a challenge and can only see the negative aspects, although positive ones exist in parallel.

For example, if you are thinking “I don't like working from home” this will naturally cause you to focus on the negatives of the situation, which may include loneliness, disconnection, demotivation, uncertainty and so on.

Our inner voice allows us to narrate our own lives; it is an internal monologue almost like a conversation with oneself that has so much power over us. Click To Tweet

4 key tips to eliminate that awfulising voice

Catch your critic and name it:

Stop and name the thought, and refer to it by that name going forward. I once had a client say that negative talk was about being not good enough or to “needy Ned”. This made her laugh whenever she referred to these thoughts with this name. This alone can change your current state of thought and the direction of further conversation.

Flip your beliefs:

Usually, whatever we think or tell ourselves are framed as beliefs, things we believe to be true that either do or do not serve us. Inviting a negative belief into your head for instance; “I will never get through this challenge” could be flipped to “What can help me get through this challenge?

Talk to yourself like a friend:

It's amazing how harsh we can be to ourselves, often harsher than we would ever dream of being with those we love. Talk to yourself as you would a friend; be light, be kind and above all, be respectful and come from a place of love.

Reframe your words:

Words are more powerful than we think, and we need to be conscious of what and how we frame what we tell ourselves. Reframing “I'm nervous and challenged” to “I'm excited about this opportunity” can change your energy, mindset and above all your awareness from what can be opposed to what can't.

  • This is too hard vs this may take some effort
  • I can't do this vs I'm on track to doing this
  • Being alone is hard vs who can I connect with
  • Working at home vs working from home

As always, I'd love to hear what is working for you.

Lead to limitless…

Signed Reneé



PS: Want to skyrocket your success from working anywhere? We've launched our new online program and you can read more about that here.

Ever wondered what Reneé gets up to when she isn't with working with her clients? She's doing this.

If this article has resonated with you in any way – I’d love to hear your thoughts – get in touch.

Being in service to my clients is why I do what I do and your feedback, insight and any suggestions are always embraced.

Find out where you sit on the Leadership Ladder, your responses are anonymous and the results summarised to help us better understand where our market sits so that we can continue to provide, insights, tools and solutions to assist you to move up to be LIMITLESS, co-creative and stand out.

Renée is a mentor, coach, expert facilitator and keynote speaker, She is the author of ‘Limitless Leadership’ and co-author of ‘Leaders of Influence’.

Follow Renée on FacebookInstagramIGTV or Twitter, or subscribe to her blog here or new podcast here.

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Limitless Leaders™ Connection: Culture is not limited to the workplace but also our homeplace

Culture exists in both the workplace and the homeplace!

Culture is a bit of a buzz word, and it simply means the shared values, ideas and social behaviours of a community. Often applied to the workplace I reckon we need to consider what I call our “homeplace culture” too.

In the workplace, culture stems from the people, as it does at home, and with so much change happening in our lives and selves at present, now is the optimal time to review and reset culture.

Culture stems from the people, whether at work or at home and with so much change happening at present, now is the time to review and reset culture. Click To Tweet

Both a high performance and happy work culture can be replicated at home. Obviously different people are involved but the principals are the same.

Culture is the name for what people are interested in, their thoughts, their models, the books they read and the speeches they hear. – Walter Lippmann.

Whether in the workplace as a team or at home with your loved ones, house buddies or friends, take a step back to reset and realign the culture.

The 3 L’s to reflect on :

  1. LET IN new ways of working and thinking
  2. LET GO of what no longer serves you and those around you
  3. LET BE what is working and can continue

Take some time to review and realign:

Purpose

  • Why are we here?
  • What gets us out of bed in the morning?

Values

  • What is important to us individually and as a team?
  • How are we living these values?

Beliefs

  • What beliefs are serving us and limiting us?
  • What do we need to believe in?

Behaviours

  • What behaviours and ways of being are working?
  • What needs to change or be done differently?

Attitudes

  • What is the thinking of each other?
  • What motivates us and lights us up?

We are taking bookings for our virtual Culture Reset Team workshops for August and September.

Contact Natalie for more details.

Lead to be limitless…
Signed Reneé



PS: Want to skyrocket your success from working anywhere? We've launched our new online program and you can read more about that here.

Ever wondered what Reneé gets up to when she isn't with working with her clients? She's doing this.

 

If this article has resonated with you in any way – I’d love to hear your thoughts – get in touch.

Being in service to my clients is why I do what I do and your feedback, insight and any suggestions are always embraced.

Find out where you sit on the Leadership Ladder, your responses are anonymous and the results summarised to help us better understand where our market sits so that we can continue to provide, insights, tools and solutions to assist you to move up to be LIMITLESS, co-creative and stand out.

Renée is a mentor, coach, expert facilitator and keynote speaker, She is the author of ‘Limitless Leadership’ and co-author of ‘Leaders of Influence’.

Follow Renée on FacebookInstagramIGTV or Twitter, or subscribe to her blog here or new podcast here.