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Limitless Leaders™ Connection – R U OK with self-compassion?

R U OK with your self-expression

Thursday the 10th September is R U Ok Day, a day to remind everyone that every day is the day to ask, “Are you OK?” As we all face the ups and downs of life, I reckon it's a good day to stop and practice self-compassion in conjunction with compassion for others.

Self-compassion opens the door to acceptance and is about directing love and compassion at yourself and those around you. To be receptive and accept the gifts we face, we need to open the door and invite self-compassion in. Kristen Neff, a researcher of self-compassion, highlights its many benefits, including a decrease in anxiety, stress and depression, and an increase in life satisfaction, resilience and overall happiness.

As we know, our thoughts dictate our feelings and therefore, what we do or don’t act on.

Negative self-talk is the blocker to self-compassion and can include:

  • awfulising – assuming the worst, which can spiral into negative thinking
  • filtering – seeing only the negative aspects when you face a challenge, although positive ones exist in parallel
  • personalising – blaming yourself when faced with a challenge

“The thoughts you think today will determine the results you see tomorrow.” – Robin Sharma

We need to be kind to ourselves and catch ourselves out on the negative self-talk.

5 Key Tips On Being Kind To Ourselves:

  1. Catch your critic and name it – Stop and name the thought, then refer to it by name. One of my clients attributed her negative talk to not being good enough or being too ‘needy Ned’. This made her laugh whenever she noticed these thoughts – that alone changed the direction of her future conversations.
  2. Talk to yourself like a friend – We can often be harsher on ourselves than we would ever dream of being with those we love. Be light, kind and above all, respectful.
  3. Practice gratitude – We all have so much we can be grateful for, being in nature, our health or the fact we have caring people in our lives. Gratitude can be a feeling, an action or a mindset. Journaling three positives each day and reflecting on them the next morning is a great way to start. Bringing gratitude into the workplace culture is a great way to share, show compassion, amplify strengths and appreciation in each other.
  4. Flip your beliefs – Usually, we frame whatever we tell ourselves as beliefs, which either do or do not serve us. For instance, ‘I will never get through this challenge’ could be flipped to “What is the opportunity in this situation?” Think about what limiting beliefs you could let go of, to be kinder to yourself.
  5. Reframe keywords – Reframing “I’m nervous and challenged” to “I’m excited about this opportunity” can change your energy, mindset and awareness to what can be, rather than what can’t be. Words are powerful, and we all have the choice and capability to change them.

Self-awareness doesn't prevent you from making mistakes; it allows you to grow from them instead. We need to take the time to reflect, digest our thoughts and neutralise negative self-talk in order to be kinder to ourselves.

When we have thoughts about a challenge or success that serve us, we can then ‘feel’ into them. An example: feeling empowered when we have made it through a hard time – we can lean into that feeling of accomplishment and positivity.

Think of an event that’s currently on your mind:

What are you telling yourself about it?

How can you practice self-compassion today?

How are you showing compassion to your team and those around you?

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Lead to be limitless…

Signed Reneé


PS: Want to skyrocket your success from working anywhere? We've launched our new online program and you can read more about that here.

Ever wondered what Reneé gets up to when she isn't with working with her clients? She's doing this.

 

If this article has resonated with you in any way – I’d love to hear your thoughts – get in touch.

Being in service to my clients is why I do what I do and your feedback, insight and any suggestions are always embraced.

Find out where you sit on the Leadership Ladder, your responses are anonymous, and the results summarised to help us better understand where our market sits so that we can continue to provide, insights, tools and solutions to assist you to move up to be LIMITLESS, co-creative and stand out.

Renée is a mentor, coach, expert facilitator and keynote speaker; She is the author of ‘Limitless Leadership’ and co-author of ‘Leaders of Influence’.

Follow Renée on Facebook, Instagram, IGTV or Twitter, or subscribe to her blog here or new podcast here.

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Limitless Leaders™ Connection: How are you contributing to the most important person in your life – YOU?

Renee Giarrusso - Limitless Leaders Connection

Life gets hectic and especially of late as we all face a global pandemic, the war of our lifetime. This has presented challenges along with opportunities in more ways than one. We can get caught up in the “doing” of life instead of the “being” and spend time contributing to our home team, work team and community and we often forget about serving ourselves.

Contribution is a core human need and it satisfies another human need – growth. We grow when we contribute and contribute through growth.

You’ve heard the saying ‘you cannot pour from an empty cup‘ so therefore we need to serve ourselves in order to better contribute to and serve others. Like fuelling a car, if we optimise self-contribution then the car will go further. We will also feel more fulfilled and able to bring our ‘whole selves’ to whatever we do.

Self-care is giving the world the best of you instead of what’s left of you! Click To Tweet

We can contribute to ourselves in a plethora of ways and we need to be mindful of how and when we do this, to ensure the Gift of Contribution doesn’t remain unwrapped.

Let’s explore a few ways we can ensure we give back to ourselves:

Wellbeing

What are you doing to ensure you are mentally, spiritually and emotionally looking after yourself? This could be as simple as exercise, meditation, mindfulness and protecting yourself from situations and people that disempower or drain you.

Self-growth

Identify and further develop your competencies and skills. Find out what really motivates you and satisfy these preferences – they will make you feel more energised. By growing yourself, you will have more to contribute to others, both in and out of the workplace.

Reading

Create a reading habit. Research from the University of Sussex found that reading for only six minutes per day can reduce your stress by 68%. It's a great way to learn, take yourself away from the everyday and contribute to yourself, your growth and your inner peace.

Compliments

Accepting compliments is vital to healthy relationships, especially the one with yourself. By saying ‘thank you’ with gratitude, you are honouring the person giving the compliment and reinforcing the quality or trait you are being complimented on.

Be kind to yourself and as I always say, talk to yourself as you would a friend. We are often harsher on ourselves than anyone else.

Saying ‘no’

Easy to say but not always simple to do, learning to say ‘no’ without guilt can be empowering and will enable you to spend the right time on the right things and people. Trying to be everything to everyone is not sustainable long term. Remember you are saying ‘no’ to the event, not the person – this will make the process easier.

Dedicating time to what you love

What is one thing you are passionate about that you can dedicate time to? What sparks your interest or curiosity? Maybe it’s cooking or learning to play the guitar. We can find the time if we are intentional. The American Time Use Survey showed that we can find up to five hours per day for leisure time.

Self-contribution is vital or your energy can end up in the lost property box. If you are one of those people that find self-contribution indulgent or not a priority, reflect on what it will cost you not being able to contribute to others and live the best version of yourself.

As always Id’ love to hear what resonated with you and how you contribute to the most important person in your life-YOU.

Lead to be limitless…

Signed Reneé



PS: Want to skyrocket your success from working anywhere? We've launched our new online program and you can read more about that here.

 

If this article has resonated with you in any way – I’d love to hear your thoughts – get in touch.

Being in service to my clients is why I do what I do and your feedback, insight and any suggestions are always embraced.

Find out where you sit on the Leadership Ladder, your responses are anonymous and the results summarised to help us better understand where our market sits so that we can continue to provide, insights, tools and solutions to assist you to move up to be LIMITLESS, co-creative and stand out.

Renée is a mentor, coach, expert facilitator and keynote speaker, She is the author of ‘Limitless Leadership’ and co-author of ‘Leaders of Influence’.

Follow Renée on FacebookInstagramIGTV or Twitter, or subscribe to her blog here or new podcast here.

 

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Happy International Coaching week! Coach to lead, empower & create future leaders

coach to lead, empower and create future leaders

This week its International Coaching Week 2020! (ICW2020)

Coaching is a topic I am extremely passionate about and I believe it is simply a process of delegating thinking to others. Many leaders put off coaching or think they are coaching when in fact there is a lot of “telling” going on. My question to them is: “If not now, when?”

When leading remotely, connection can be stifled.  There tends to be a focus on team catch ups which is great, but don’t do this at the expense of 1:1 and group coaching. Either virtually or physically face to face coaching can be done 1:1, formally or informally to a group. Also try self-coaching as a great way to deepen awareness and leadership of self. Continue reading Happy International Coaching week! Coach to lead, empower & create future leaders

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The Top Shelf Leader-Which shelf do you sit on?

bottle on shelves

It was a late Friday afternoon in July on a gloomy mid-winters day in Melbourne. Following a full week of delivering workshops a delirious Renée and Shelley happened to catch each other over the phone. It is rare for these two to actually speak in real time without the standard back-and-forth missed calls and voicemails.

Continue reading The Top Shelf Leader-Which shelf do you sit on?

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Limitless Leadership™: Insight #3 How do you drive feedback to grow? 

eyes wide open - chicked

How do you drive feedback to grow?

Thank you for all your responses to our Limitless Leader™ Indicator Tool. This tool allows you to see where you sit as a LIMITLESS LEADER™ and how to take your leadership to the next level and be LIMITLESS!

Your responses continue to provide valuable insight into our work and how we can be in service to you, our amazing clients, and collaborate with you on your success.

If you haven't had a chance to do this simply click here.

We were shocked! 35% do not actively seek feedback on their performance

Around 35% of respondents don’t ask for regular feedback on their performance.

Seeking feedback is an integral part of development and growth to be a LIMITLESS LEADER™ and can provide insight into areas for development and also a picture of the achievements you’re making.

You can’t improve if you aren’t aware of what needs improvement – and you can’t celebrate on your own.

Do you:

  • Seek feedback?  If not – why not?
  •  Challenge yourself to ask for feedback outside of your manager?
  •  Make this a regular part of your focus and growth?
  •  Invest in the time in asking and learning in order to be a better leader?

There is no such thing as failure, only feedback

Cross Leadership™  is a concept I have been writing about and it simply means that you need to lead across to your peers, to your direct reports and to your manager and their peers.

cross leadership model leading up down across

The value of feedback…

When asking for feedback how valuable would it be to reach out and seek feedback from your peers, your team and not only your manager but their peers? This will increase your strategic agility and provide you with multi-faceted feedback from different perspectives. You will build your networks, gain different insights into you and take your growth to a new level.

Own your growth

If you are not receiving feedback don’t wait for it. Own your growth and it can be as simple as asking two questions:

  • What am I doing well?
  • What could I change or do differently?

It never ceases to amaze me when leaders I work with reach outside their normal lines of feedback and simply ask those two questions. We can’t always see what is in front of us or our blind spots. We often need others to share what they see and then we can take this on board and take our growth to the next level.

As always, we would love to hear what works for you?

For more of my tips on how change can equate to growth, get in touch. I look forward to

working with you in the future!

Find out where you sit on the Leadership Ladder, your responses are anonymous and the results summarised to help us better understand where our market sits, so that we can continue to provide, insights, tools and solutions to assist you move up to be LIMITLESS, co-creative and stand out.

Renée is a mentor, coach, expert facilitator and keynote speaker, She is the author of ‘Limitless Leadership’ and co-author of ‘Leaders of Influence’.

Follow Renee on FacebookInstagramIGTV or Twitter, or subscribe to her blog here or new podcast here.