Great leaders operate with multifaceted awareness—balancing their thoughts, emotions, and external feedback.
We cannot lead ourselves or others if self-awareness is missing. For example, we cannot demonstrate empathy if we aren’t self-aware first.
Self-awareness has 3 main components; our thoughts and feedback form the outside world that create our feelings and what we do or do not action.
Let’s explore these components and how they shape leadership effectiveness.
The Power of Thought
Our thoughts dictate our actions, influencing how we interpret challenges and opportunities.
Brain science highlights the concept of neuroplasticity—our ability to rewire thinking patterns. Similarly, in Buddhism, the idea of planting karmic seeds suggests that our recurring thoughts shape our future reality.
Consider this: You assume a colleague is avoiding you, and soon, you start focusing on their perceived shortcomings. In reality, their behaviour could stem from stress, shyness, or even their own assumption that you’re avoiding them. Our inner voice narrates our experiences, and unchecked, it can lead to:
- Awfulising – assuming the worst, creating a negative spiral
- Filtering – focusing only on the negatives in a situation
- Personalising – blaming yourself unnecessarily for challenges
As Robin Sharma puts it: “The thoughts you think today will determine the results you see tomorrow.”
The negative inner dialogue we all do at times, I call the DJ in our head.
It sounds like us but remember it’s our monkey mind in overdrive.
Don’t give the DJ in your head any airtime.
To counter negative self-talk:
✅ Name your inner critic – A client of mine called her self-doubt ‘Needy Ned.’ Naming it gave her control and even made her laugh, shifting her mindset.
✅ Talk to yourself like a friend – Be as kind and supportive to yourself as you would to a colleague.
✅ Flip your beliefs – Instead of “I’ll never get through this,” ask, “What’s the opportunity in this challenge?”
✅ Reframe key words – Replace “I’m nervous” with “I’m excited” to shift your energy and focus.
Self-awareness doesn’t eliminate mistakes; it allows you to learn from them.
Understanding Feelings
Strong leaders don’t just think critically—they also recognise and manage their emotions. Thoughts and feelings are interconnected but distinct:
- Thoughts are the internal narratives we create.
- Feelings are emotional responses triggered by those thoughts.
For example, if you say, “I feel overwhelmed,” you may mean:
- Thought: “I think I’m drowning in responsibilities.”
- Feeling: “I feel out of control.”
By separating thought from feeling, you gain clarity and make decisions based on logic rather than pure emotion.
Leveraging Feedback
External feedback enhances self-awareness, helping leaders understand both strengths and blind spots. Organisations that foster a culture of feedback—peer-to-peer and management-led—see improved leadership agility and team performance.
Leaders process feedback differently:
- Internally motivated individuals take feedback into account but ultimately rely on their own judgment.
- Externally motivated individuals view feedback as directive and adjust accordingly.
Many senior leaders tend to be internally focused, relying on intuition rather than external input. While experience is valuable, a reluctance to seek feedback can lead to missed opportunities and blind spots.
We need feedback from the outside world in conjunction with our own thoughts to create and foster deep self-awareness.
To make feedback effective:
✅ Tailor it to the recipient’s preferences—some prefer frequent feedback, while others need time to process.
✅ Deliver it in the right setting—some individuals thrive on public recognition, while others respond better to private discussions.
A Simple Tool: Journaling for Awareness
Journaling is a powerful method for refining self-awareness. Reflecting on these three areas can provide clarity:
✅ Thoughts: What happened? What did I tell myself? What beliefs shaped my reaction?
✅ Feelings: How did I respond emotionally? Did I react or respond thoughtfully?
✅ Feedback: What external cues did I receive? How did others react? What insights can I gain?
Final Thoughts
Great leaders and executives continuously refine their thoughts, feelings, and openness to feedback to navigate challenges with clarity and confidence.
Cultivating this awareness isn’t just about self-improvement—it’s a strategic advantage in leadership and decision-making.
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Lead to be limitless.
