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Listen to what is NOT being said

Listen to what's not being said

As many of you know we run numerous workshops that include the fascinating topic of emotional intelligence (IQ) and Body Language. I have had 3 requests in the last week to write an express blog on this and will post additional information over the next few weeks. It links in well with connecting to people as when you read and observe body language you are completely in the moment and will rapport more quickly and easily.

I am only going to cover the basics and the best way to fine tune your skills in reading body language is to practice and become aware of one pattern at a time. It is important to remember that a pattern usually means something when in sequence and context so watch out for all the signs.

Did you know 70% of first impressions you leave on someone come from your body language? 55% of the way you communicate is via non verbal signs such as body language. Only 38% is the way you speak and a staggering 7% are the actual words. Now you can see how powerful it is to understand body language as it can really help you connect, build rapport more easily and persuade and influence.

Today let's look at one of the most powerful types of communication ……EYE CONTACT

There is a saying “Hearts have been broken and wars have been declared in the blink of an eye”. Eye contact shows respect and interest. In many western cultures it is said that we should maintain eye contact for 60-70% of the time. This is different for some cultures where eye contact can demonstrate lack of respect. Using more than 60-70% of eye contact can cause the other party to feel uncomfortable as you will come across as too intense. Strong eye contact shows self confidence, strength and belief in what you are communicating.

Where a person looks can also give you an insight of what is going through their head.

There is a lot I could write on this but the basics are:

-Looking up means the person is visualising something

The language used may include words such as seeing, paint a picture, imagine and so on.

-Looking Side to side means they are hearing something

The language used could include words such as hearing, sounds like, boils down to etc

-Down to their left- Feeling something

-Down to their right- means they are processing something which is usually self talk

If they look to their left they are usually remembering and to their right they are usually constructing.

I always ask a question to verify this and this enables me to tap into the other person in a much deeper way.

Remember to bring in everything you notice, not just one aspect and include the power of language in this.

Have fun with this……. remember to listen to what is not being said.

Keep Flying!

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